REJECTION; How I deal with it.

Rejection is a bitter pill to swallow, so if you work in showbiz you better get used to the taste coz you’re gonna be popping them like M&M’s. There are some jobs that don’t really matter. You get rejected and all you say is “Oh well! what you’gon do” but then there are other jobs that you really REALLY want. You spend weeks if not months preparing for it, finally you get a call back before you know it a test offer from the studio comes through. Now your heart is racing. This has been what you have been waiting for… the big break is finally here. You see your name in lights. You have your Oscar speech ready. You have even picked out the shoes you’re gonna wear to the award ceremony.

The phone rings… it’s your agent… you squeeze your best friend’s hand and answer it… *drum roll*…it’s a NO! The studio decided to go the other way :(. This is a familiar story to so many actors. I’ve gone through it more times than I care count. Here are a few things that help me bounce back from a major rejection.

CRY

There ain’t no shame in crying. Your heart is broken. It’s completely acceptable. Two rules though; 1) Don’t do it in public 2) The ‘mourning’ period may last 24 hours only. Afterwards, you get out of bed, pick yourself up and go nail the next audition! An extended mourning period may lead to depression or worse, giving up on acting.

DON’T TAKE IT PERSONAL

Most of the time it is never about your acting. YOU ARE A BRILLIANT ACTOR. Your look was just not right for the part. Maybe you were taller than the the guy who was supposed to play your husband or you were more handsome than the lead. Yeah, that’s a thing. I have seen briefs that specifically state whoever books this role may NOT be more handsome than (insert actor’s name here) At this point it is really out of your hands. Some things you just cannot change! (for what it’s worth, the studio thinks you’re good looking, that aint a bad thing)

IT’S ALL PART OF THE PROCESS

Rejection builds character and that is a fact! As an actor, you are one day gonna thank the universe for all the struggle and rejection you have gone through because without that, you would never have been the person you are today. Those days of being broke, going hungry, feeling like a let down etc are one day gonna be exactly what you need to draw from to play a certain character. You will be perfect for it because you’re not imaging it, you actually lived it! Queen Latifah discusses it here with Taraji P. Henson but it is Patricia Heaton’s story on getting cast in Everybody loves Ray that brings everything to perspective. Watch her interview at around min 7:42.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

If you live with this as your career motto your recovery time from a rejection will be almost instantaneous!

Last year I was shortlisted for what would have potentially been ‘my big break’. Every ounce of me wanted to see it through. Looking back, had I gotten the job, I would never have met the wonderful people I now have in my life. Our paths would have never crossed. These people have turned out to be very important in my life. Sometimes I wonder what took us so long to meet. I don’t know how life would have been had I booked that role but everyday I wake up thanking God that the studio rejected me!

DON’T BE A SORE LOSER

It’s easy to blame other people for not booking a role but bad mouthing the casting director or being jealous of the actor who got the role you auditioned for only makes things worse. Accept it with grace, it will make it easier to move on. I love what Tony Gaskins said…

That’s all for today folks. See you next week 🙂

Image: Amica Newman

EPIC LINE: You may fall in love with a million characters but that does not mean it’s your story to tell.

Gina Rodriguez

Disclaimer: this blog is proudly brought to you by the voice(s) in my head. It does not intend to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any personal issues. If symptoms persist, click  here